I DARED TO CALL HIM FATHER
Chapter 3. Dreams
It wasn’t until evening that I again picked up the little gray Bible. Neither Tooni nor I referred to the Bible again after I switched the conversation to another subject. But throughout the long afternoon the words in that passage simmered just below the surface of my consciousness.
That night I retired to my bedroom planning to read and meditate. I took the Bible with me and settled among the soft white pillows of my bed. Once again I leafed through its pages and read another puzzling passage:
“But Israel, following the Law of righteousness, failed to reach the goal of righteousness.” Romans 9:31
Ah, I thought. Just as the Quran said; the Jews had missed the mark. The writer of these passages might have been a Muslim, I thought, for he continued to speak of the people of Israel as not knowing God’s righteousness.
But the next passage made me catch my breath.
For Christ means the end of the struggle for righteousness-by-the-Law for evervone who believes in him.
Romans 10:4
I lowered the book down for a moment. Christ? He was the end of the struggle? I continued on.
For the secret is very near you, in your own heart, in your own mouth. . . . If you openly admit by your own mouth that Jesus Christ is the Lord. and if you believe in your own heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:8-9
I put the book down again, shaking my head. This directly contradicted the Quran. Muslims knew the prophet Jesus was human, that he did not die on the cross but was whisked up to heaven by God and a look-alike put on the cross instead. Now sojourning in a lesser heaven, this Jesus will someday return to earth to reign for forty years, marry, have children and then die. In fact, I heard that there is a special grave plot kept vacant for the man's remains in Me- dina, the city where Muhammad is also buried. At the Resurrection Day, Jesus will rise and stand with other men to be judged before God Almighty. But this Bible said Christ was raised from the dead. It was either blasphemy or....
My mind whirled. I knew that whoever called upon the name of Allah would be saved. But to be- lieve that Jesus Christ is Allah? Even Muhammad the final and greatest of the messengers of God, the Seal of the Prophets, was only a mortal.
I lay back on my bed, my hand over my eyes. If the Bible and Quran represent the same God, why is there so much confusion and contradiction? How could it be the same God if the God of the Ouran is one of vengeance and punishment and the God of the Christian Bible is one of mercy and forgiveness?
I don't know when I fell asleep. Normally I never dream, but this night did. The dream was so lifelike, the events in it so real, that ] found it difficult the next moring to believe they were only fantasy. Here is what I saw.
I found myself having supper with a man I knew to be Jesus. He had come to visit me in my home and stayed for two days. He sat across the table from me and in peace and joy we ate dinner together. Suddenly, the dream changed. Now I was on a moun- taintop with another man. He was clothed in a robe and shod with sandals. How was it that I mysteriously knew his name, too? John the Baptist. What a strange name I found myself teling this John the Baptist about my recent visit with Jesus. "The Lord came and was mý guest for two days," I said. "Put now Heis g gone. Where is He? I must find Him!
Perhaps you,John the Baptist,wilead me to Him?
That was the dream. When I woke up I was loudly calling the name, "John the Baptist! Johr the Baptist!" Nur-jan and Raisham rushed into my room. They seemed embarrassed at my shout ing and began fussily to prepare my toilete. I tried to tel them about my dream as they worked
"Oh, how nice," giggled Nur-jan as she presented my tray of perfumes "Yes, it was a blessed dream," murmured Raisham as she brushed my hair.
I was surprised that as a Christian, Raisham wouldn't be more excited. I started to ask her about John the Baptist but checked myself; after all, Raisham was just a simple village woman But who was this John the Baptist? I had not come across the name in what I had read so far in the Bible.
For the next t three days Icontinued reading both the Bible and the Quran side by side, turning firom one to the other. I found myself picking up the Quran out of a sense of duty, and ther eagerly turning to the Christian book, dipping into it here and there to look int o this confusing new world I had discovered. Each time I opened the Bible a sense of guilt filled me. Perhaps this stemmed from my strict upbringing, Even after I had become a young woman, Father would have to approve any book I read. Once my brother and I smuggled a book into our room. Even though it was completely innocent, we were quite frightened, reading it.
Now as I opened the Bible, I found myself reacting in the same manner One story rivetedmy attention. It told of the Jewish leaders bringing a woman caught in adultery to the prophet Jesus. I shivered, knowing what fate lay in store for this woman. The moral codes of the ancient East very different from ours in Pakistan. The men of the community are bound by trad- were not ition to punish the adulterous woman. As I read of the woman in the Bible standing before her accusers, I knew that her own brothers, uncles and cousins stood in the foreftont, ready to stone her Then the Prophet said: Let him who is without sin cast the first stone (John 8:7).
I reeled as in my mind's eye I watched the men slink away. Instead of supervising her lawful death, Jesus had! forced her accusers to recognize their own guilt. The book fell into my lap as I lay there deep in thought. There was something so logical, so right about this prophet's chal lenge The man spoke truth.
Then three days later I had a second strange dream: I was in the bedchamber when a maid announced that a perfume salesman was waiting to see me. 1 arose from my divan elated, for at this time there was a shortage of imported perfumes in Pakistan. I greatly feared running low on my favorite luxury. And so in my dream I happily asked my maid to show the perfume salesman in, He was dressed in the manner of perfume salesmen in my mother's dav when these merchants traveled from house to house selling their wares. He wore a black frock coat and carried his stock in a valise. Opening the valise, he took out a golden jar. Ro moving the cap, he handed it to me. As Ilooked at it, I caught my breath; the perfume glimmered like liquid crystal I was about to touch my finger to it when he held up his hand.
"No," he said. Taking the golden jar he walked over and placed it on my bedside table "This willspread throughout the world," he said.
As I awakened in the morning, the dream was still vivid in my mind. The sun was streaming through the window, and I could still smell that beautiful perfume, its delightful fragrance filled the room. ] raised up and looked at my bedside table, half expecting to see the golden jar there Instead, where the iar had been, now rested the Bible!
A tingle passed through me I sat on the edge of the bed pondering my two dreams. What did they mean? Where I had not dreamed in years, now I had two vivid dreams in a row. Were they related to each other? And were they related to my recent brush with the realities of the super natural world?
That afteoon went for my usual strollin the garden. ] was still bemused by my dreams But now somethin g else was added. It was as if I felt a strange delight and joy, a peace beyond
anything I had ever known before, It was as if I were close to the Presence of God. Suddenly, as I stepped out of a grove into a sun-flooded o pen area, the air around me seemed to be alive witl another lovely fragrance. It wasn't the fragrance of flowers- it was too late for any of the garden to be in bloom-but a very real fragrance nonetheless.
In some agitation I returned to the house. Where did that fragrance come from? What was happening to me? Who could I talk to about what was happening to me? It would have to be someone with a knowledge of the Bible I had already swept aside the thought of asking my Christian servants. In the first place it was unt hinkable to ask information of them. They prob ably had never even read the Bible and wouldn't know what I was talking about. No, I had to talk to someone who was educated and who knew this book.
As I considered this question a shocking idea came to mind. That would be the last place I should go for help.
But a name kept returning to me so compellingly that I finally rang for Manzur.
"Iwant you to get the car out for me." And then as an afterthought l added: Tll be driving myself" Manzur's eyes widened. Yourself?"
"Yes, myself, if you please." He left, reluctantly. Rarely had I taken my car out that late in the day. I had been an officer in the Royal Indian Army women's division in World War Il and had driven ambulances and staff cars thousands of miles over all kinds of terrain. But wartime was one thing and even then I was in the company of someone. The daughter of a feudal family was not expected to drive her own car in normal life, especially not at night.
But I knew I couldn't risk Manzur knowing what I was about to do and resuitant servants' gossip. I was convinced there was only one source where I could find the answer to my ques- tions: Who was John the Baptist? What was this fragrance all about?
So it was with extreme reluctance that evening that I headed for the home of a couple I barely knew, the Reverend and Mrs. David Mitchel, who had visited my garden that summer. As Christian missionaries, they were the last people with whom I'd want to be seen.
