I DARED TO CALL HIM FATHER
Enriched by the East
SYNNĂVE MITCHELL
My husband, David, and I are grateful for the privilege of having been raised in both Eastern and Western cultures. The pungent smells and briliant colors of an Eastern bazaar-curry spices piled high, briliant yellow turmeric, bright red and black peppers, dark-brown cinnamon, light brown cumin, and the gray-green of powdered coriander-evoke childhood memories as in- tensely happy as a cold, crisp, white Norwegian winter snow scene with the scent of pine and fir and the welcomin g aroma of strong coffee in a ski chalet. very different, but we love them both and have L been greatly enriched by both.
For the average Westerner, the sights, sounds and scents of the East fascinating, but their are thinking patterns, their worldview, their values and their decision-making methods often baffle us. We do not always realize that the Easterner experiences the very same bafflement when first encountering the" West!l But most of the bewilderment is removed through personal relation- ships. Through the sheer fun and eventual bonding with friends, understanding replaces fear suspicion and the initial awkwardness of trying to break the ice.
Over the nearly forty years Dave and Ilived in Pakistan (our childhood years in India not included), we have enjoyed noting some of the contrasts between East and West. Many of these we learned from Begum Sheikh and the patience she displayed with us. 1 spent hours with het sitting cross-legged on her bed or t akhtposh (a low, wooden, table-like platform), leaning agains an oblong pilow for comfort, learning the proper etiquette when eating her delicious curries with my fingers instead of with knife, fork and spoon, and listening spellbound to her stories of political intrigue, such as the communication struggles between Eastern and Western officer, Those were unrushed times no goal or agenda during World War mind except to enjoy another's company and get to know and learn from each other. It was here that the Philips one translation of the New Testament (and later the complete Bible) became worn, as we enjoyed not only social interaction but learning to know God in greater depth.
Since Begum Sheikh herself had been drawn to Jesus through dreams, it was not surprising over the years when we were together in Wah, that God brought several seekers to hear her story who had also received dreams and visions from Him. I watched how carefully she brought atten- tion to Jesus by praying for them and claiming the promises He Himself had made, and applying those promises in simple faith to their specific needs. She was concerned not only to give her vis- itors truths about God, but to bring them into the presence of Jesus, the Truth
The fact is, it is much easier to talk to Easterers about spiritual things. They are willing to take the time because, as a rule, they believe in the supernatural and are very aware of the spir- itual realm. Most secular Westerners, on the other hand, believe primarily in what can be seen or proven by the scientific method. Often the Westerner feels that to talk about spiritual matters and umyths" is a waste of time.
Jesus was an Easterner. He flowed with what His heavenly Father had orchestrated for each day. He walked dusty roads, rode on donkeys, sat by wells and taught spiritual truths by telling simple stories that had powerful application to daily life- very much like life in the East, even today.
One of the most frequentiy heard words in the Urdu language izzat. Woe to the person who does not understand not only its linguistic meaning but also its cultural importance. Honor DavidandI will never forget the near-tragedy that happened toan insensitive Westerner we knew shopping in a Pakistani fruit market Instead of enjoying the fun of learning to bargain, he called the fruit vendor dishonest for asking too high a price for his fruit. The word dishonest dishonored the vendor in front of his other customers. A near riot took place as they moved to the vendor's defense, Had not a quick-thinking Pakistani driver pulled our friend into his car, who knows what could have happened?
An Easterner could probably forgive ary sin more easily than public dishonor, whereas Westerners think in terms of right and wrong As Christians we believe God is either pleased o displeased with us, according to how well we follow the biblical standards of right and wrong Over the years, however, David and I havelearned from our Eastern friends that the God of the Scriptures puts great emphasis on His honor. Over and over in the Bible we read that everything God does is for His name's sake, for the glory of His name It all boils down to God's honor. If we truy long to honor Him, we will automatically want tos do what is right.
The frontiersman of the American West, who could do everything on his own and pull himself up by his own bootstraps, is still highly admired across the U.S. We seek privacy and are individualistic, following the motto Do your own thing How very different from the East! There a person finds his identity in the group,the brotherhood" or tribe to which he belongs. The emphasis on doing everything together, rather than on the individualistic "I can do it my- self, thank you," creates strong bonds to family and community. Decisions are made within the group setting, The roles as defined by the group--mother, daughter, wife, grandmother, sister, niece, hostess-and the events that take place within that framework set the agenda for daily living..
That is why it was so excruciating for Begum Sheikh when after her conversion, the family made the decision to boycott her. The honor of her own family, and her place within their close knit bonds, was of vital importance to her. How different from the personal goal orientation of the West! Our God-given roles within the family often play second fiddle to the goal of individual material success.
I am aware of how difficult it is for Western women to understand the restrictions in inde. pendence, in dress and in freedom of choice and movement in which some of our Eastern sisters live. The tradeoff is found in a sense of security and belonging The male head of the family is responsible for the safety, welfare and honor of the women in the household. (But I will let vou in on a secret: Women have a lot more power within the con fines of the courtyard than we West erers realize! Many times the woman is the neck that turns the head.)
I wil always be grateful for our Pakist ani friends who not only took us into their homes, but into their hearts. When David had to be gone for an extended time, I was always welcomed into the protection of our friends and neighbors
Westerners cherish punctuality. To be on time is of utmost importance. But for the Easterner, hospitality trumps punctuality.
Once I found myself in a section of Rawalpindi after a long absence, and on impulse decided to drop in on friends I had not seen in several years. When they opened the door, they were all dressed up, about to! leave for wedding, We greeted eachy other warmly, but when I triedto excuse myself, promising to see them the following week, they would hear nothing of itl I had come to their home as their friend after a long time. They would fix me chai and find out no only about my own health, but the health of my family as well. Whereas I was uptight about their arrival at the wedding, they were intent on honoring me as their guest.
The wedding won't start on time," they explained. "And as long as we get there to congratulate the bride, groom and their families, and can celebrate with the guests, that's all that matters We are so glad and honored that you lhave come to our home."
Then I enjoyed their fellowship and warm hospitality, putting aside my need for being on time. Yes, they were late for the wedding, but not for the festivities. And they were able to attend a very important event without neglecting their duty to show hospitality to a friend.
That incident also illustrates the courtesy of the East contrasted with the casualness of as the West and our emphasis on efficiency. Westerners, wanting to accomplish our own agendas right away, are content with a perfunctory greeting: "Hi, buddy, How ya doing? Could you help me fix my car?" Our Eastern friends, on the other hand, use endearing and honorific titles (Mrs Mitchell sister or Aunty Sanobar), and will engage us in regular conversation only after inquir- ing about our health and the health of our family members.
My Western upbringing and training have taught me to be analytical; to collect cold, hard facts; to depend on verified statements, and, if possible, to chart these statements statistically on a linear graph. This is the way to track progress! To be truthful, I love to see lists of projects completed, goals met. But I am grateful, after living in the East, to have learned (especially in
interpersonal relationships) to be more intuitive, to hear the heart questions behind what is shared verbally, to take the time to absorb what is happening Cold facts are not always as they appear, nor can progress in heart matters be graphed linearily. Making connections and building deep, warm relationships is what life is all about.
The face-to-face, blunt, direct dealings of the West, moreover, can deeply ofend our Easterr friends, who are used to a gentler, more indirect manner of relating, Many times the Eastern choice of an intermediary or mediator can help bridge a broken relationship. As Westerners we are prone to want to confront the person who has hurt us, to "tell it like it is." It might make us feel better, but often it makes the situatior wiorse Western Christians have been taught to deal with painful relational breakdowns according to Matthew 18, in which Jesus urges us to go dir ectly to the person involved. But going directly isn't God's only way! Sometimes we forget that jesus is God's chosen Mediator in the broken relationship between God and man, and He can be & powerful model for us in building bridges.
I am grateful that, through Begum Sheikh, I had the privilege of learning some of the nuances of the East while being fully accepted as a Westerner enjoying and learning from the East. She herself had learned to appreciate many Western ways, not only because her education was in English, but also from her father's position in the British government and her extensive travels abroad.
I like to think of the intermingling of East and West as a tossed salad in which each ingredient maintains its own color, texture and taste, rather than blending into the bland sameness of th more frequently used analogy of a melting pot.
Despite many elements of the Eastern way of life that enrich Westerners, we know that, due to Adam and Eve’s choice, every virtue in every person and culture has been twisted. But Jesus has bridged the gap between God and man. He can straighten those contorted virtues, and there is hope for every person and every culture.
I love the contrasts and beauty of different cultures! So does God. In fact, the Bible reveals that the untwisted virtues of each culture will be displayed in heaven. Can you imagine how glorious that will be? Revelation 21:24–26 (NIV) puts it this way: “The kings of the earth will bring their splendor into [the heavenly city]. . . . The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.”
That is what God is doing today! Through the Good News of God's love in sending Jesus as our Mediator— the One who can straight en the twists — the ugly, frightening side of each culture can be removed. In the Kingdom of God,the West needs the East and the East needs the West. As we learn to see each other as God sees us in Jesus Christ, we are preparing for that day when the unique beauty of every culture will be fully restored displaying the glory our Creator planned from the beginning of time.
